productivity is a dirty word

no, i don't think it's a good idea to waste time and resources. but, that said, we [or maybe it's just me?] place far too much emphasis on checking a whole bunch of things off the list on any given day.

full disclosure: sometimes at the end of the day, my to do list looks kinda like this:

• do 2 loads of laundry
• clean bathroom
• research for business
• fill out tax ID forms
• update blog
• eat breakfast
• eat lunch
• shower
• walk the dog

and suddenly, i've completed more than half the things on my to-do list. crazy how that works!

i thrive on accomplishment. there are things that i do not because i enjoy doing them, but because of the enjoyment i get when i look back and survey the accomplishment.

it's terribly hard for me to spend an entire day on one thing -- not because i cannot focus for that long, but because if i only do one big thing, it still somehow seems less than doing a whole bunch of little things.

the past few days i have gotten things done, but i still feel like there is simply not enough time in the day, and no matter what i did, i should have done a little bit more.

one thing that i've thought about a lot over the past month or two is the difference between doing and being. our culture is all about doing. [and as you can see, i usually am too.] but there is something to being in the moment, to concentrating on the present. lately, i have tried ever-so-slightly more to be in the present. i fail more times than i can count, but i'm slowly getting better.

i've noticed that personally i have to purposefully refocus myself. i need to stop every once in a while and pay attention to the things around me. i need to take a moment to give thanks for it. 

life is a tricky thing. and i have no idea what will happen next. 

but for once, i think that's okay.

and with that,

i'll say good night.

xo