on the other side of the world

it's early, even for me. i couldn't sleep. i've been up since about 3:15 and my mind is spinning 1000 miles a minute. even in the middle of the night my mind cannot let go of all of the things i need to do. all of the things i want to do that i don't have time to do. and all of the things i forgot to do that i should've already done.

it's maddening. 

there's also a slow burn of processing my trip to bangladesh. because a trip like it doesn't result in all of the mental spaces getting tied up in a neat package in your mind when you get back to your normal life. 

the long and the short of it is that it was both amazing and really hard. the coaches we trained were young - mostly 15 and 16 year-old girls - because of the cultural norms in bangladesh. women wouldn't really step on the field and coach. so we trained the girls who can step on the field and coach. the girls who want to help teach and model and mentor those younger than them and still have the space to do that. 

they came ready to learn. and they soaked up a lot. but i think the best session for me happened the evening when we kicked out the guys and got to really talk with the girls. we had all female translators as well so the girls would hopefully feel more comfortable to share. 

and they did share. 

we talked about the challenges that they face. it started as the challenges of the youth they'll be coaching, but since they're pretty young it also included their challenges. and that discussion broke my heart. 

we all tend to be ethnocentric in our thinking. and if i doubted that before, this trip showed me just how ethnocentric i am. i recognize that so much of what i thought comes through my own cultural lens. my own normal. 

tears came to my eyes that night because there are so many opportunities these wonderful girls are not afforded. each culture has its own wonderful amazing pieces. and each culture has it's own broken, "that's not how it should be," side to it too. and for too many of these girls they will grow up not seeing themselves as worthy and valuable because of how women are seen in their culture. 

we had an incredible opportunity to remind them that they are created in the image of God and they are his masterpieces. that even when their opinions are not valued by people around them that they are still seen and known and loved by the God who spoke the world into being.

to remind them that God's opinion is the only one that ultimately matters. and that Jesus will walk with them through the good and the hard. 

i'm not so naive as to think that those few days changed the lives of all of these girls. but i know God called us to go and we went. i know that we had the opportunity to speak truth and life over them. and i know that God's word does not return void. 

it's entirely possible that for some of the girls this time was simply the first seed being planted. i don't know what will happen in the future. but honestly? that's not my jurisdiction. 

i don't have to know. {which is good because i don't.}

as we prepared to leave and hugged their necks, bittersweet-ness welled up in me. they are so full of joy and life and excitement to go back to their communities and coach. I love that. i also pray that they remember whose they are. that they trust in the Lord with all that they are. that they remember there is a God in heaven who made them and knows them and loves them. and that they lead out of that.

i don't know where each of their stories will lead. i don't know where they will end up or if i will ever see any of them again on this side of heaven. but i sure as heck hope i get to squeeze their necks again when we get there. 

xoxo