Monday, July 14, 2014


{via etsy}

every morning i wake up, brew my coffee, and start my day. some days this whole process of pulling myself out of bed and out to the coffeepot goes more smoothly than others. but i do it every morning.

coffee is wonderful. good coffee, that is.

coffee has the ability to evoke a variety of emotions in me. you may think this strange, but that does not make it less true.

coffee always reminds me of grammy. always.

up until i was a senior in college i didn't drink coffee regularly. sure, i went to starbucks, but i never ordered just plain coffee, and i certainly didn't have it every day. but during my internship the summer before my last semester i started drinking it in the mornings. and excepting very few mornings since, i've been a coffee drinker.

grammy loved that. she seemed almost proud that despite neither of my parents being coffee drinkers, i had become one. almost like she gave me a coffee gene.

it's funny to think about in a way. for as many things as i remember and associate with her, coffee is one. she took a long time to drink her coffee, and you could often smell it on her breath. many times when i think back over the memories i have of her, she is either drinking coffee, or white zinfandel.

to me, coffee has a way of slowing things down, even when it speeds it up. most mornings i can take my time drinking my coffee. i can savor it, and while doing so attempt to savor the moments of life happening around me. i say attempt because life with a toddler does not give one a lot of time to reflect during said toddler's waking hours. however, good coffee and a moment to drink it remind me of what life is about.

it helps me pause and give thanks for my life, and reminds me of what my priorities should be.

coffee also has a way of bringing people together. not at the preclusion of other things, but over the years, i've had many coffee dates with friends. my friend tina and i used to meet with our small group girls in a coffee shop, and to this day walking into a cozy coffee shop makes me relax a bit even if i'm getting my drink to go.

the coffee mugs in our house hang on the wall of the dining room. when people come over they get to pick their mug. if keane is awake when i make my coffee in the morning, he has to approve my mug. [seriously, he'll point, and if i pick one he doesn't like that day he shakes his head no.]

i associate coffee with reflection - whether it's through writing, deep thought, or conversation. i associate it with getting things on track. sometimes it's my day, sometimes it's what is going on in my life as a whole.

as i've shared over the past couple of posts - life is crazy right now... peter and i just talked last night about how we have both started feeling a bit burnt out. we both crave a bit of personal time when we don't feel like we're "on the clock" so-to-speak.

all that to say that even though i honestly feel a bit guilty for wanting that time; the alone time i crave most is time at a coffee shop reflecting on life and getting my ducks in a row. [it seems there are quite a few ducks right now, and they all have their own individual minds and ideas about where we should go next. kind of like toddlers]

this morning i'm reminded of the quote i put at the top of this post - i need a little bit of coffee, and a whole lot of Jesus. and for some reason, my little bit of daily coffee reminds me that i need a whole lot of Jesus.

i hope you have a great monday.
full of coffee and Jesus.


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

one thing at a time

{found via pinterest}

ok, cards on the table. i'm really tired right now. and really frustrated.

our house hasn't sold yet. we still haven't had an offer despite lots of showings, and lots of interest. we have more than a few projects remaining at the new house, and some of them can't even come close to being tackled until we actually have the vast majority our stuff in it. of course that cannot happen if the other one hasn't sold because it has to remain staged for potential buyers.

i know that two and a half weeks is not a really long time to have a house on the market without an offer, but the fact of the matter is that houses in our neighborhood have been going like hotcakes. every single one that had come on the market for the last few months went under contract within a week.

so yes, two and a half weeks later i'm really really frustrated.

my exhaustion grows because there is always some other project to be done. my frustration grows because we are rapidly moving toward adelle's arrival and i'm not sure i'm going to have a working master bathroom at that point.

i think you all know that i'm not all that patient generally. i'm horribly impatient when it comes to house projects and decorating - more so than my usual impatience - and now i'm also nesting.

it has been a long couple of weeks, and unfortunately the closer we get to little miss' due date the less sure i am that i'll be getting any break at all from now until she's a few months old - if she's a good sleeper, that is.

i know we can only take care of one thing at a time. i know that worrying about it isn't going to help. i know all that, really. i know. but holy cow, thinking about it? thinking about it makes me want to cry. it makes me want to curl up in a ball [on the mattress on the floor that i've been sleeping on so we can leave our house staged...] and cry. and sleep for a couple days.

of course what makes matters worse is that keane is going through the transition of moving so his sleep patterns have been less than stellar. it's like we're traveling even though we're "home". we're home even though it doesn't feel like home yet.

anyway. we've just had a lot going on for the past couple weeks, and i feel like i'm starting to break. and i'm getting larger and more uncomfortable at the same time. so, yeah, life is great in some senses. things are moving in the right direction, but man alive, they're simultaneously moving too quickly and too slowly.

we could all use your prayers.
please and thank you.


Monday, June 30, 2014

what's in a name?

{found via pinterest}

you guys. i know some of you are just on the edge of your very seat waiting and waiting and waiting for this post [ok, so like 2 of you, but still...].

anyway, the day has finally come where we have decided the name of our daughter, and are sure enough that we're ready to share it with all [2] of you.

her name is:

adelle jane

her name has great significance, just like keane's does, but the significance of her name is in a different way than his. the meaning of adelle is: noble, kind; and the meaning of jane is: God is gracious. those are the meanings of the names themselves, but the real meaning of her name goes much, much deeper than that.

you see, adelle is peter's gran's middle name. jane was my grammy's middle name. this little girl is named after two of her great-grandmas. basically as we talked about names, it came down to this -- if our daughter is anything like a combination of those two great family matriarchs, she's going to be pretty stinkin' awesome.

our daughter may not keep her "family" name for her whole life, but she will have her family, and her heritage, and her history built into her by virtue of her name. 

i can hardly believe we're so close to meeting her!

as i've shared recently, life is pretty crazy right now. i know it'll be even crazier for a while once she gets here, so i had to laugh when i ran across this gem again today: 

{found via pinterest}
all you parents know it's true!

happy monday!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

travels & houses

hiking in swallow falls state park 
hotel rooms are fun

dipping toes in the fountain

keane LOVES "wa-wa"

lincoln memorial

my view from the lincoln memorial

making our way home

ok, so we're back. we've been back for a few days now, but i'm just now getting around to an update... we took a two day detour getting home, but we made it back tuesday evening none the worse for wear. we had a fun, mostly relaxing weekend up in maryland with my family, and then went through d.c. on the way back because peter had a job to check on just outside of it. so, we got to squeeze in dinner with some friends from college one night, and an evening walking all over our nation's capital the next.

we listed our house the day after we left, and have had quite a few showings. we had a hint at a couple offers, but no official offer yet. we're praying it comes soon for many reasons - not the least of which is the difficulty of keeping things in order when you have a toddler around who thinks dirty clothes should go in a pile in the middle of the office instead of in the hamper.

keane is all kinds of off-schedule since our trip. he tends to not sleep as well for the first few nights that we travel - the whole getting used to a new place thing. so, of course that means that we tend to not sleep as well either. this time around it meant going to bed a little bit late, but waking up at least a little bit earlier than normal every day. so, peter and i are rather tired too. thankfully though, despite having a little less sleep than normal he does really well with traveling.

since we've been back we've bounced from one place to another with the dog in tow in order to accommodate showings of the house. we had the new carpet installed in the new house wednesday, and have one more small section to paint over the carpeted area before we move on to painting the bathrooms, and maybe even setting up some stuff inside the house. it's a slow process, but we try to just keep on moving forward. or at least that's what i tell myself so i don't get too discouraged.

i keep reminding myself that this too shall pass, and while it feels all-encompassing now, it will soon be nothing but a blip on the radar when i look back.

this. too. shall. pass.

it is true in every sense - not just the moving part, or the craziness part, or the pregnancy part. it includes the part where we're a family of three. the part where we live in the house where keane came home from the hospital. the part where we placed five years of memories, and now we're starting over in a new space.

it will all change. time passes. and this too shall pass.

it's both comforting and jarring. but true nonetheless. we may get second chances in life, but we don't get second chances at this very moment. time is fleeting. once it passes you cannot go pick up any one specific moment and have a do-over.

don't get me wrong - there is redemption. there are second chances. but we are also constantly changing from minute to minute. constantly either moving forward, or letting the current take us along.

there are reasons for both. sometimes we need the space to think, and live, and be without a set agenda. but i also don't want to simply let life happen to me.

knowing that everything passes is a bit of a double-edged sword. it is unbiased. it cuts both ways. and as i sit wanting time to pass quickly in terms of no longer being in house limbo, and wanting to be able to move and relax a bit without all of it hanging over my head, i feel the double-edged sword. because we're also 8 ½ weeks from welcoming our little girl, and i don't want to give up that time with keane. i don't want to wish away the last two months of our family of three.

i want it to go quickly and slow down all at once. no matter what though, it will all go at the same pace. sixty seconds. sixty minutes. twenty-four hours.
soberingly unbiased.


Monday, June 16, 2014

up in the air

{via milk & mead}

life feels very up in the air as of late. we closed on our new house a week ago, and have furiously gone back and forth between working there, and cleaning our current house in order to list it. we are also leaving for a long weekend vacation on wednesday which means that everything for listing our house, and everything "before carpet" in the new house needs to happen before we leave. of course we also have to do the normal things before the trip like: grocery shopping for the food to take, prepping bexley for the kennel [which meant taking him to the vet, booking the kennel, and includes fitting in the actual drop-off at the kennel], and right now i'm at the toyota dealership getting an oil-change, brake check, and tire rotation on the car.

my dad came down last week to help us with anything and everything, and peter's parents helped out in some way or another pretty much every day as well. not to mention his sister and her boyfriend [on his birthday, no less].

we've definitely made a lot of progress. of course peter has to keep reminding me that this whole house thing is a big project that includes lots and lots of little projects. in short, as long as we're moving forward, it's a good thing.

generally speaking i don't always do well with slow progress. it's not that we've made slow progress this time around - thus far things have gone remarkably quickly - we just have a lot to do. my anxious anticipation also has something to do with the whole having a baby in 10 weeks thing. and, you know, wanting to spend at least one week lounging next to the pool in my whale suit before everything hits the fan in the newborn stage of life.

a few people have told us that going from 1 child to 2 was harder for them than going from none to one. you know what i think about that? i think - thanks for the reassurance. i was worried it might be easier this time around, and all i want in life is for things to get harder all the time... [ahem, sense the tone...].

no, in some senses it is nice to have the warning so it doesn't come as a surprise if things work that way for us, but at the same time, that's not really what i want to hear right now!

anyway, i don't mean to complain; i am incredibly grateful to be in the position we're in, even if that position brings a lot of chaos with it right now. there are a lot of changes happening, but they are good changes.

even sitting here writing this feels like breath to my lungs because i haven't had much of a chance to write over the course of the past week or so. often writing is how i really process things and think through them, so up until this point i've felt a bit jumbled and pent up.

in some senses this vacation ended up being ill-timed since we planned it before we knew about all of the house stuff, but in other ways it'll be a nice, forced break. we won't be able to do much on the house while we're away, so it will be kind of like passing through the eye of the storm. plus, once we get our house listed and sold we can fully focus on the new house and won't have to worry about the projects and upkeep of the current one. so if you know anyone looking to buy a house in charlotte, let me know. [*wink*]

in other news -- the u.s. plays ghana tonight! keane is wearing his jersey today to show his allegiance, and i'm wearing my american flag scarf since it's the only paraphernalia i have that still fits with my 29 week belly.

and speaking of my growing belly - this little girl has been doing some kind of tumbling routine in there for the past couple days. she definitely makes herself known.

in prego news, we have pretty much decided on a name, and will share it soon! i've started calling her by her name to get used to it, and to make sure we don't want to change our minds. of course the number of girl names we both liked rounded out at a grand total of about two, so this decision worked a little differently than it did with naming keane.

anyway, we'll have a lot to share soon! baby girl's name, before & after photos of the house, and hopefully [fingers crossed] news that we've sold the current house.

i hope summer has had a splendid kickoff in your corner of the world.


Friday, June 6, 2014

this week

{found via pinterest}

here is a quick update of what happened this week -- it was a bit of a doozy. it should have been full of big exciting things, but at the end of it the truth of the matter is this: it was an ugly, anti-climactic week.

we had things going on at the beginning of the week, but nothing overly crazy or exciting. then wednesday came. we were supposed to close on our new house yesterday, but on wednesday we got word that the people living there [who do not own the house, in case you were wondering] had not done their due diligence, and could not move into their new place until monday. and basically with real estate contracts in this state being what they are we had two options. close anyway, and have them pay rent until monday, or move the closing date.

after the whole dog poop thing, and all of the issues we had seeing the house for showings, and getting the house inspected we were not about to close with the people there still living in the house. so we had no choice but to wait until monday.

and i was royally pissed. in fact, here's a little excerpt from my thoughts on wednesday:

"today and i are not friends. not at all. today i'm having an ugly day. a day full of emotion and frustration and ugly crying. yes, really.

most notably the ugly crying comes from the stupidity, incompetence, and irresponsibility of other people forcing us to move the closing date on our new house from tomorrow - did you catch that? tomorrow - to monday. it doesn't matter to the squatters who are living there that those 4 days will cost us weeks when it comes to actually being able to move into the house. they don't care that we have a set number of days and weeks to accomplish everything that needs to be fixed in the house before our daughter is born. it doesn't matter to them that the original closing date was yesterday, or that they had ample time to ask for a longer extension. but did they? no. no they did not. they waited until the day before we are all set to close to say "i'm sorry, we're irresponsible and didn't find a place to live until the very last second, and we can't move in there until monday." who cares that your family was set to help you this weekend? who cares that the carpet guy was set to come give you an estimate on friday? who cares that you were waiting to list your house until you could stage it well, and now this pushes that back too? who gives a rat's patootie as long as we get what we want, even if you get screwed over in the process.

but the seller is grateful.

let me be completely honest. unless grateful comes to the tune of a handful of benjamin franklins, i don't care. your gratefulness just angers me. it does nothing to improve your cause."

so there you have that.

but then, to make matters worse, i've been sick for the past two days. yesterday was quite awful. today i'm officially on the mend, but nonetheless i feel even more behind the 8 ball than usual. i've worn nothing but pajamas the last two days and have accomplished little more than sleeping and practicing the bad mothering that comes from feeling so awful that all you want to do is lie on the couch, and so you leave the tv on constantly for your 19 month old, hoping that will keep him from destroying the house while his dad is at work.

thankfully peter was working from home yesterday when i suddenly found myself with my head in the toilet. keane did his part today by taking a longer than normal nap, which allowed me to get in some sleep this afternoon too. but this week has been rough.

truthfully, i'm thankful it's over. i'm more than a little disappointed that we won't be able to do any work on the new house this weekend, and that we're effectively at least a week behind where we wanted to be because we had help lined up for this weekend, but there's nothing i can do about it now.

so, we'll move on, and hope next week is better...

because sometimes that's all you can really do.


Wednesday, May 28, 2014

it's official. as of monday i moved up an age bracket. the big 3-0. it's funny though, at the end of the day, it's not really that big.

remember when you were a kid, and "big" birthdays meant something changed? like when you turn 5 and you get to go to kindergarten; or you become a teenager, get to drive, get to vote, or get to drink. big birthdays usually meant something changed. something happened as a result of your birthday.

but anymore, that's not true. [at least not until you start getting senior benefits, but i'm quite a ways from that…]

anyway, it' just funny to me that as you get older age really becomes less relevant. it's really only as relevant as you make it. if you act old, and make excuses based on age then you'll probably show your age earlier - in a way it makes you age faster. but you can be a mature, responsible adult without being old.

in many ways, age is a state of mind.

so what did i do for my birthday? well, the whole weekend was a kind of birthday celebration, but on the day itself peter did something pretty great:

each one of those sticky notes has a time on it, and meant that from 8:00 a.m. til 10:00 p.m. i got some kind of gift every hour.

some of them were things like: not having to change any diapers for the day, or peter cleaning up after dinner, or going to the pool for a couple hours as a family. some of them were kindle books, gift cards, flowers, a shirt, and tickets to a concert. one of my favorites was talking about decorations for the new house for an entire hour. 

this may seem strange to you, but as a favor to my husband we hadn't been talking much about the new house. we have had a lot to do here, and he didn't think his mood would be terribly favorable if i kept bringing up all kinds of work he'd have to do once we moved. but over the course of an hour on monday i broke out my notebook and pinterest board, and showed him the vast majority of my ideas. [btw, if you'd like to see my pinterest board(s) too you can follow me via the link on the left sidebar. just in case you're terribly curious!]

we had bacon and sweet pea risotto for dinner, which was pretty delicious, and some carrot cake for dessert. all in all, it was a pretty great day!

i know a couple days is not necessarily indicative of the whole year, but thus far 30 has been fantastic. and with all of the wonderful things happening in the next few months [let alone the next 12], i'm rather stoked about this year. 

oh, and soon i'll show you some before and after pictures of our nearly completed master bathroom redo. until then, here are some pictures of keane helping us out around the house *wink*

happy wednesday!