the ups and downs of august

historically i'm not really a fan of august. the heat is gross and doesn't want to relinquish its grasp despite moving closer to fall. which takes f o r e v e r  to arrive {in my fall-loving opinion}.

this year i'm trying really hard to appreciate the month of august. it brought vacation and brings the start of back-to-school festivities. it brings the start of soccer for our older two, and some semblance of a schedule while still holding onto the flexibility of summer. 

in a way august is a celebration for me. iris is one, our older two are headed back to school, and {while it may seem like a small thing} i've made it through the summer without going to the gym once. i've actually gotten into the habit of waking up early and working out 5-6 days a week - something i've never been consistent about doing despite my workout-a-holic ways.

it's also a bit of a triumph because i don't feel overwhelmed by having all three kids at home anymore. we had to transition when we brought iris home, yes. but we also had to transition at the beginning of the summer so i didn't go completely insane with managing all three of them all day every day. 

i've never been so convinced i'm an introvert. 

and trust me - i get to the end of plenty of days feeling like i'm barely treading water. even with all of the fun we had on vacation i was so worn out by all of the fun and festivities that it was kind of a wake-up call for me in the sense of understanding the time i need to decompress at the end of the day.

traveling is such a gift for me. i know some people enjoy it more than others, but when i'm away from home it gives me the space to not only enjoy a new and different place, but also to step outside of normal life and evaluate how things are working or not working. road trips, or long flights give me time to analyze what needs to change or how i would like things to look for our normal days.

this trip was kind of bittersweet because i realized how much i've really enjoyed this last little bit of summer. and in less than a week, keane goes back to school. 

it opens up time in a lot of ways, but i'm also not quite ready to let go of this time all together. 

some of the best parenting advice i have been given came when adele was a baby. i think i may have shared it before, and it's simple but profound - enjoy the stage where you are. that's it. just enjoy where you are. and it's true in life in general too. 

it's so easy to look back with nostalgia at how things used to be, or to imagine that when we just get to "this" stage things will be easier or better, but then you miss the time that's smacking you in the face. 

i missed the beginning of the summer by trying to force it to be something it wasn't. finding a rhythm took time. but going to a different place for a little bit gave me the time to sit back and just appreciate it. we will never have another today. we will likely have another august 15, but we will never have another today.

that shakes me up a little bit. 

time is more expensive than money because once it's gone we can't get it back. yes, sometimes we do have to go small. sometimes we need to do the mundane things that get us from one day to the next. but while this too shall pass, and life goes on, and many other platitudes are true, we still will never get another today.

so i'm going to try to be grateful for today. whether things are going well or not. whether i enjoy every minute, or {in the much more likely scenario} i don't, i want to be grateful it's here. i want to be grateful that i have the opportunity to move and breathe and live it.

xoxo