to my team: how do we end what barely began?

{photo credit: @chargerwsoccer}

dear ladies,

i put this off for a while. i hoped and prayed i wouldn’t have to write it so soon - to put an “ended” stamp on something that barely got started. i kept telling myself that there had to be more. we couldn’t just stop in the middle, that’s absurd.

but right now the whole world is walking through an absurd time - one that most of us didn't know could exist as of a month and a half ago. {but let's not get stuck there - we might not get out.}

i debated about whether or not it was even worth it to write this. what can i say about a handful of games? about a great start for a promising team that didn't get to be what it could've been? what can i say to a group of seniors whom i've watched grow as people and players over your entire high school careers? a group that i still don't like thinking about saying good-bye to, and admitting the need for that good-bye may or may not be a big part of why i didn't want to write this....

class of '20
{thanks syd!}

the thing is - i can't speak to the things that whole long seasons normally develop.
so what can i say?
i can tell you that i know you didn't get out of this season all of the hopes and dreams you took into it. i know we're not going to hoist a trophy at the end of may like we hoped. and i know i'm biased, but i think we had a great shot at it. it sucks to know that too, honestly. in a less promising season it would've been so much easier to handle watching it get the ax in the middle.

but i can tell you that this {lack of a} season can still teach you - us - some all-important lessons. the first of which is: life is not fair. in this world there will be troubles. life will not go how you plan it. there will be stops and starts and hiccups and dramatic changes that you didn't want, didn't ask for, and don't like at all.
makes you feel better, right?

i know, i know, encouragement is my gift. now you can walk away full of wisdom and feeling so much better in general. {← re-read in a sarcastic tone just to make sure we're on the same page}

ok. so life isn't fair. but hopefully you already knew that, and hopefully that's not all that this time and this team will teach us.

there's a part in there that's easy to miss - life will not go how you plan it. there's a quote i love {shocking, i know} that says: "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." we like to plan things. we like to be in control. but the truth is, i often tell you girls to "control what you can control" because at the end of the day there's not much on that list. you have a choice about how you approach life when it doesn't go how you planned. you have a choice about how you control your reaction to an action outside of your control.

the other thing i want to tell you is this - this year was my tenth season coaching. and in a decade of teams, not a single other one started to really come together sooner than this one. being able to set a goal as a team, and get everyone pointed in the same direction, working and pushing each other toward a common goal is *not* an easy task. {if you don't believe me, then just take a look at argentina's men's team in the last world cup. i mean, come on. but i digress }

you girls put in the work, and i know you would've continued to do so had you been given the opportunity. and not just that, but you put in the work together.

this team wasn't about individuals. it wasn't about individual achievement.
it wasn't about any one of you.
it was about all of you.
and that is huge.

so. as you go from here and start to move past this anti-climactic ending of a season, of a school year, of everything that was supposed to be in this time that didn't get to be - take the time to process, take the time to think it through, and especially for you seniors: take the time to mourn it.
i'm mourning it with you.

and know this - we will still have our team dinner, eventually!!


i'm so grateful for you girls.
thank you for the privilege of coaching you.
i'm so sorry that this season wasn't everything we hoped for.

❤ coach kate