adaptation.

{found via pinterest}

lately i've been mulling over the ideas of change and adaptation. am i willing to change? am i willing to adapt of my own accord, or do i wait until life forces me there? am i making choices, or letting life choose for me?

and not just when it comes to me -- do i leave space for others to change?

are people always the people they were to me, or do i leave space in my own mind and heart to let them change as they have? do i constantly look back at how things were, or do i let them be what they are?

it's a ridiculously hard question. because it's incredibly difficult to actually leave people that space. it's incredibly difficult to hope that someone will change for the better if all past signs point to no. it's also tough to look at someone who had a ton of potential for good, and see that they've gone in the opposite direction. but do i believe they could come back? or do i believe that people are too far gone?

the thing is, we have to continue growing {it's much better than the alternative}. and we have to encourage others to grow, even if it's in the smallest, quietest way.

granted we cannot make them grow. but we can keep growing. we can admit our mistakes and do better tomorrow. we can be sponges and learn as much as we can from the people and situations around us. and we can speak truth to people. we can bear up with them. we can love as we've been loved.


life is hard sometimes. things don't go how you thought, people don't stick with you like you expected them to. wrenches get thrown into plans. people get sick, or stay sick and don't get better. it's true for everyone. we cannot walk through life expecting to be shown grace when we're walking through hard times, and not extend grace to others when they're bearing a burden we know nothing about.

but i do it all the time. i expect more from others than what they're capable of giving. and too often i don't ask why. i don't enter into it with them. i don't give them the benefit of the doubt.

yet somehow i expect others to give me the benefit of the doubt.

i've realized these last couple of months just how terrible i am at adapting to a new situation. because i'm not kind to myself. i expect transitions to be immediate with no lag time. i expect to be able to do just as much as i did before even while incorporating another tiny human into our family.

and we're going through transitions all the time. sometimes big, and sometimes small. but transitions nonetheless.

i don't feel like i have good answers to some of these questions. but that's where we live much of the time, right? we live in the tension of not knowing the why or the how or the when. we have to live in the tension. we can either fight against it, or embrace it, but it will be there no matter what.

how will i choose to be today?
how will i choose to live?
how will i choose to look at others?
how will i choose to treat myself?
will i extend the grace that i've been shown?

will i change? or will i adapt?

xoxo