who knows?

{found via pinterest}

that phrase - who knows? - sticks in my head right now because once again snowfall drifts down from our charlotte skies, and despite the fact that we were supposed to have over a week of soccer practice under our belt at this point [but only have a day], it's looking more and more like we won't get much time on the field this week either. {sidenote: in case you can't tell, i started this post last week...}

who knows what will happen?

who knows is such a loaded phrase, not just for me, but especially for me. "who knows" is such a true statement. we don't really know what's going to happen. that's why there are so many aphorisms about planning: "the best laid plans..."; "if you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans." 

but "who knows?" also makes me immediately think of something else every single time i hear it. in a split second i get transported back to my freshman year of college. to the very first semester - the very first week that i was on campus.

playing soccer meant that i was on campus before everyone else, and going to a christian school meant that we had a team theme each year based on a bible verse. my freshman year the verse was esther 4:14 - "for if you remain silent at this time relief and deliverance for the jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. and who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?" [niv]

the whole theme of the season was "who knows?" who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this. who knows what will happen?

that season kicked off a great two years for the soccer program at grove city. my freshman year was the first time in school history that the women's soccer team went to the ncaa tournament. the following year we went on a 15 game win streak, and went back to the tournament for the second time in school history.

all because we, as a team, took to heart that idea. 
who knows what can happen? who knows but that you are in the exact place you're in because you now have the ability or authority or position to do something, or to speak something that you couldn't otherwise.

we cannot see everything all at once. we live in a linear world. and sometimes that's scary. 
but God is sovereign. 

and that's the thing - he knows, even when we don't.

it's like another saying i heard a few years ago: i don't know what the future holds, but i know who holds it.
sometimes we walk through fun and exciting things, or do something that has never been done before, all because we have the audacity to believe that God is God and if we listen to what he's asking us to do he can bring things together that we couldn't possibly know or predict.

of course that doesn't mean that we don't do anything. we still have to put in the work. [yes, there are times when you put in the work and it still doesn't seem to get you anywhere, but at least then you're not left wondering what would've happened differently if you had.]

we miss that piece though. we don't want to put in the work. we want to have everything handed to us without needing to work for it. we don't want to do the hard thing simply because it's hard. too often i don't recognize that life isn't easy for anyone. the grass always looks greener on the other side because too often i'm looking on the other side, wanting the easy way out. in that moment of wanting something else i don't realize that even if i trade in my grass for that greener grass over there i still have to water the grass eventually, or it won't be green anymore.

no one really has it easy even if it looks like they do. we all have different struggles - some are bigger than others because they involve struggling for things necessary for life - but we all struggle. and we all think that others out there don't struggle. we've become so obsessed with our façade that authenticity has become refreshing.

too often i subconsciously think things are supposed to be easy, but most things in life worth having take a ton of work - despite what our culture tells us.
a good marriage? it's not just flowers and sunshine all the time. it takes intentional work. [despite the theme of many a rom-com]
parenting? hardest thing i've ever done. beyond worth it, but tough day in and day out.
building a business? having a successful career? staying in shape? becoming well-versed in any discipline? most things in life take work.

peter and i were talking last week about the "overnight" success story that actually took 10 years of work. businesses and products pop up [seemingly] out of nowhere all the time. they make us think that they truly came out of nowhere, but in reality those businesses or products had been in the works for a long time.

we want to take the easy way out, but there's not an easy way to accomplish many things. we're fooled by the end product. we missed the process and mistakenly think that there was none.

we live in an immediate gratification society, and we've started thinking that everything should happen immediately.

there are so many tangents spinning through my mind right now because there are so many ways to apply this in my own life.

i want to make changes, but changes don't just happen because i want them to happen. i have actually stepped up in some aspects and taken steps to make changes. i've started making changes to small things, but those often trip me up more than the big things.

for instance: i've started waking up earlier to get a few things accomplished before the kiddos get up. this "extra time" has allowed me time to write far more often than i could before. writing more has caused more reflection, and has helped me come to a few important realizations about my own life at this stage.

i'm at this stage at this time because God put me here. i say that with 100% clarity because it took us so much longer than we hoped to have kids. if it had only been up to me our kids would be older at this stage in the game. but they're not. and there is a reason for that.

who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?

God can use anything. do i trust him enough to walk with him even when life doesn't make sense? do i trust that he wants me at the center of his will even more than i want to be there?



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