choosing gratitude. again.

as you can probably tell from my latest posts, my thinking has encompassed a lot of really heavy things recently. big, heavy things. and i'm still thinking about those things, but i'm trying not to get carried away by them. i'm trying to recognize that there are a lot of tough things in the world. there are things i should pay attention to, and there are things about my life that need to change in light of those things.

but my life shouldn't end up void of joy because i recognize these things. i don't want to end up so focused there that i forget how to appreciate what's right in front of me.

i've struggled a bit lately with the big things i've written about, and i've struggled with the small, everyday things - like my whole life feeling like an exercise in futility at times.

another meal to prepare. another load of laundry. another picking up of the toys. and tomorrow we'll do all of it again.

sigh. but. those are not the only pieces of my life. all around me i can find a whole heckuva lot to be grateful for. i can get sucked into complaining, or i can be grateful.

it's a choice. a choice that i make daily.

this morning i'm choosing gratitude. i choose gratitude for the coffee in my mug. i choose gratitude for my kids' sleepy heads. i choose gratitude for the time i got to spend getting my mind in the right place this morning. i choose gratitude for the progress we're making in the kitchen - and i want to keep choosing gratitude even after we finish it.

here are a couple photos from during last weekend, and at the end of last weekend:

sans sink & counters

apparently this was the original floor in our house
ie: it could be worse.

sink in place. counters still need to be attached,
but look how pretty!

yes, we still have a ways to go, but this one was a big step. the next steps are finishing the drywall on the other side, cutting and staining the "backsplash", and painting. oh, and closing up that hole under the sink.

we're actually talking about what we want to do for the shelves, and i'm thinking about how i want to arrange things on them {which may be a little early, but that's how i roll}.

despite the fact that i'd have much preferred to have a fully put-together kitchen in a few weeks versus this long, drawn-out process, i do think it has made me more grateful for each advancement.

but i don't want to lose that. i don't want to finish it, and be a few months in, and forget what it used to look like. i want to remember where it was when we moved in. i want to remember how horribly ugly it was before because i don't want to get grumpy about it. in some senses it will probably never be my dream kitchen because it's an odd shape, and not completely open to the dining room and family room, but we do have an open floor plan, so i can't complain too much at the end of the day.

anyway... i think i need to shift my expectations a bit. the goal is to keep moving forward. keep on moving in the right direction regardless of the pace.

sometimes the sooner the better. there are things that tend to be all or nothing. you do them quickly, or not at all. but. a lot of things take incremental change. most things change incrementally whether you want them to or not. it's best to dictate the change instead of letting it dictate you.

it'll happen either way, right?

so today. today i'm choosing gratitude. today i'm making wise decisions about how i spend my time. i'm making wise decisions about the food i choose to eat, and how i live my life.

i'll start today.

and i'll start again tomorrow. hopefully in a slightly better place.



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