a year of margin

{found via pinterest from flickr}

happy new year, friends.
i hope it is for you.

this year was the first year in recent memory that i did not greet the new year at its moment of inception. i went to bed. i figured it would come whether i was there to greet it or not.

i'm not quite sure how three full days have passed since then, but somehow they have, and i'm moving right along with them.

as we traveled back from pittsburgh on monday we discussed some big things for this year. not exactly resolutions, but reflections on what we've been doing, and what we plan to do as things shift in various areas of our life. {how's that for vague?}

the biggest idea overall is that of margin. having margin. having a buffer. banishing busyness - especially busyness for the sake of busyness. because all that does is stress me out, and what's the point?

we're trying to pare down without losing much. sounds paradoxical, but in many ways we're gaining. we're gaining time if we do it right. we spend so much time taking care of the things we don't really need. far too often i waste my life with maintenance. maintaining things that don't really matter, that don't add much to anyone's life. yes, some maintenance is necessary and will always be there, but if i have to spend more time maintaining it than enjoying it is it really worth it?

i'd much rather spend time doing the things that matter. {wouldn't we all?} i want to read and think and write instead of watch. i want to have conversations instead of simply exchanging information. i want to make time for family and friends first, and then schedule the other things. i want to live purposefully. i want to recognize where i'm in control, and where it is out of my hands so i stop trying to change the things beyond my level of influence.

i don't want to live my life in fear of failing. i want to fail up when i do fail {because i will}. there are a lot of abstract things i want to do. and it's really easy to just say i want them - to wax eloquent {or try} - and then keep on doing the things that i've been doing. to keep doing the things that lead me away from where i want to be.

change is hard. habits are hard to break, but they're also hard to make.

slowing down is a habit. it's an extremely tough habit in a world that tells us we have to chase after things to gain happiness. we forget that happiness is a by-product of how we live our lives.

i'm still figuring out what all of this looks like going forward. i think we all are. we like to think we can wrap things up, but life keeps on going until it doesn't. it's all a process, and it's always in process. we never arrive. i have to keep on keeping on because c'est la vie.

so instead of wrapping this up nice and tight i'm just going to let it be for once.

much love to you.


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