a little perspective.

lately life has stayed crazy. i thought it would slow down when the kids started school, but it turns out four hours goes faster than you think when you have a list the size of your arm.

i've been so tired from trying to fit too many things, and not enough sleep into these days.

my mind spins constantly with the things i need to do - despite writing things down and planning out my days. i constantly feel like i'm forgetting things.

our adoption profile needs to be reviewed, and then we can move forward in that area. everything has taken longer than planned, but that's mostly because i didn't actually know how long they would take when i planned it all out in my head.

i feel like i'm running in circles and moving at half-speed.

this morning i woke up to a coffee maker that hadn't brewed because one of the pieces wasn't clipped in right. thankfully it was a simple fix, and it's brewing as we speak.

i also woke up to a dishwasher that hadn't run because i apparently hadn't closed it the whole way. but i'm thankful to have a dishwasher to begin with, and thankful that it still works despite my incompetence.

i've realized {again} that happiness and disappointment are two sides of the same coin. happiness is when your reality supersedes your expectations, and disappointment is when reality falls short of your expectations.

lately i've been setting myself up to be disappointed. yes, there are a ton of things on my plate. some got put there, but most are things i added of my own accord. and i expect to get far too many things checked off of my list each day.

everything feels either really urgent or really important right now, and i wish i had a pause button.
writing is my pause button, and it has largely fallen by the wayside.

i have read enough, and listened to enough really smart people to know that this is not the best way to order my days or get things accomplished. i need to set my unchangeable priorities, and actually not let them change.

but that takes work.

i want to enjoy this season of life.
i want to enjoy this fall season - which seems like it will come back around just in time for october.
i keep getting lost in the minutiae and to-do lists of each day instead of taking deep breaths and really enjoying each day.

i've been told that this life only comes around once. and i should enjoy it as best i can.

i wish i had longer to sit here and write this morning. there are plenty of things i wish were a little bit different right now. but at the same time - if i take a minute to look around, really actually look - my mind would explode with the amazingness i have at my disposal.

i need to bring some perspective back into my days.
i need to bring some gratefulness back into each moment.

my feelings are largely swayed by my expectations, but i need to add the "but." i need to add the "that may be true, but i still have so much for which to be grateful."

today, i will be grateful.

xoxo