mini update
we are slowly moving toward adopting. our printed profiles should arrive this week, and then we will send them out to agencies. it already feels like it has been a long time since we started this process, but we have no idea how long it will take on the whole.
some days it's easy to trust in God's timing because there are so many other things going on at the same time as all of this, and it's not at the forefront of my mind. but other days i wonder and wonder and wonder. some days it's much harder to trust that everything will take how long it's supposed to take so that we can bring our child home.
some days it's harder than others to live in the tension of the now and the not yet. we don't know exactly what path we will walk to get there. we don't yet know what child God has for us. there are a lot of big questions, and some days it's harder than others to step out in faith.
and i think of our expectant mama - we don't know who she is yet, but i think of her. i wonder what she's thinking and feeling. i wonder if she has even made her decision yet. and i pray for her.
there are so many things i don't know about this process. and i hate not being in control. i've always hated not being in control. {which is kind of funny since i've never actually been in control.}
i feel like we're already a family of five without actually being a family of five. so much is up in the air. so much is un-plan-able. and God is stretching us. stretching me.
i know one day i will look back on this time and be able to see all the ways God prepared me for adoption over the course of this process. i know that one day i will look back and it will be extremely hard to imagine our family as anything but a family of five.
it's hard to imagine that now, but i know one day it will be anything but.
patience is hard. trusting is hard.
there are a lot of things happening in our world right now. so much so that i feel like i'm wading through my days knee-deep in molasses trying to get stuff done. i don't entirely feel like myself because i haven't had the time i'd like to sit down and write and reflect.
yesterday i was reminded of the importance of that time. i was reminded that far too often i rush into my days without taking time with God first. i rush through that time without really reflecting, and later in the day i wonder what the heck i'm doing.
this past week - despite my general state of hurried-ness - i was reflecting on the oft-quoted dallas willard quote "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."
it was brought to the front of my mind mid-week when the kids and i were getting in the car about to leave the parking lot of a coffee shop. the woman who was parked next to me {and had gone in as we were coming out} came back outside and despite making myself as small as possible while trying to buckle K's carseat she said she really had to go and asked me to close the door for "30 seconds" so she could leave. after waiting for maybe 10 seconds for me to finish buckling him.
ruthlessly eliminate hurry.
ruthlessly.
ruthlessly eliminate hurry so i don't have to treat other people like my emergencies are their emergencies.
in what ways do i act like that with others? in what ways do i act like that toward God?
my timing is not God's timing. my plan is not God's plan. but he has called me to certain things. and he has called me away from others.
how can i best honor him with my days even while i'm waiting?
how do i wait well?
even when the waiting is hard.
some days it's easy to trust in God's timing because there are so many other things going on at the same time as all of this, and it's not at the forefront of my mind. but other days i wonder and wonder and wonder. some days it's much harder to trust that everything will take how long it's supposed to take so that we can bring our child home.
some days it's harder than others to live in the tension of the now and the not yet. we don't know exactly what path we will walk to get there. we don't yet know what child God has for us. there are a lot of big questions, and some days it's harder than others to step out in faith.
and i think of our expectant mama - we don't know who she is yet, but i think of her. i wonder what she's thinking and feeling. i wonder if she has even made her decision yet. and i pray for her.
there are so many things i don't know about this process. and i hate not being in control. i've always hated not being in control. {which is kind of funny since i've never actually been in control.}
i feel like we're already a family of five without actually being a family of five. so much is up in the air. so much is un-plan-able. and God is stretching us. stretching me.
i know one day i will look back on this time and be able to see all the ways God prepared me for adoption over the course of this process. i know that one day i will look back and it will be extremely hard to imagine our family as anything but a family of five.
it's hard to imagine that now, but i know one day it will be anything but.
patience is hard. trusting is hard.
there are a lot of things happening in our world right now. so much so that i feel like i'm wading through my days knee-deep in molasses trying to get stuff done. i don't entirely feel like myself because i haven't had the time i'd like to sit down and write and reflect.
yesterday i was reminded of the importance of that time. i was reminded that far too often i rush into my days without taking time with God first. i rush through that time without really reflecting, and later in the day i wonder what the heck i'm doing.
this past week - despite my general state of hurried-ness - i was reflecting on the oft-quoted dallas willard quote "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."
it was brought to the front of my mind mid-week when the kids and i were getting in the car about to leave the parking lot of a coffee shop. the woman who was parked next to me {and had gone in as we were coming out} came back outside and despite making myself as small as possible while trying to buckle K's carseat she said she really had to go and asked me to close the door for "30 seconds" so she could leave. after waiting for maybe 10 seconds for me to finish buckling him.
ruthlessly eliminate hurry.
ruthlessly.
ruthlessly eliminate hurry so i don't have to treat other people like my emergencies are their emergencies.
in what ways do i act like that with others? in what ways do i act like that toward God?
my timing is not God's timing. my plan is not God's plan. but he has called me to certain things. and he has called me away from others.
how can i best honor him with my days even while i'm waiting?
how do i wait well?
even when the waiting is hard.
xoxo
Comments
Post a Comment