am not

i want to cry.

run.

hide.

slip away

just for the day.

or a week,

or a month.

become someone different

for a minute.

not completely new

just something else.

something i thought

i'd do.

one day.

but i didn't.

haven't.

am

not.

doesn't matter

what i thought.

it's an odd

grief,

but a real one.

that one of

what might have

been.

xoxo