the little things

{so, i started writing this post on friday, but the afternoon didn't quite go as planned, so finishing it wasn't in the cards. anyway, this whole weekend has been about the little things, so it's still pretty fitting...}

today is all about the little things.

it's after 1, and i'm still in my pajamas, but am wearing all of the accessories for the outfit i'll be wearing for the rest of the day.

this is mostly because my largest current accessory is keane. he's in the moby wrap asleep on my chest.

i've spent most of my day today reading up on all the blog posts i've missed in the past week and a half or so, milking my coffee, and walking around with keane. [when he's awake he is not a big fan of sitting. he likes whoever is holding him to move around, stand up, walk, etc. - especially if he's tired.]

so after he fell asleep in the wrap i left him there and painted my nails for the first time since he was born. [because, why not?]

it's an overcast, quiet day.
our soundtrack is ben howard.

i've been filled with thoughts of motherhood,
and remembering grammy.

i've been thinking about writing
and blogging
and working
and life.

i've given thanks many times today for our handsome little boy.

i hope i never get over that.
i hope i never get past it or take him for granted.

this is not to say that i don't get frustrated with him sometimes.
times like when he poops out of his diaper, or pees all over the bed,
or times when he won't go to sleep for the night even when he's been awake for four straight hours and has a full belly...

i get upset in the moment, but later i always think back and realize that
a miracle pooped out of his diaper
and a miracle peed all over the bed
and a miracle is fighting sleep.

no matter what he does he's still our little miracle.

and so i try to focus on the little things that i'll miss later.
the way he has found his hands, and now regularly sucks on his chubby little fingers. his big gummy smile when he zeroes in on a face he knows. the way he looks up at me when he's done eating, and just breaks into a grin. even the way he kicks his legs all over the place when we're trying to change his diaper.

the timing of his smiles often makes us think he's going to be a bit of a smart aleck. one of us will ask him if he "thinks that's funny" when he spits up on one of us, or poops everywhere, and he grins from ear to ear.

i'm trying to remember to lower my expectations about everything else right now. to that end, it's hard to see two things on a to do list as an adequate number for an entire day,
but right now it is.

right now it's feels like a feat to get anything else done besides taking care of keane. and i'm trying to be okay with that.

so i'm focusing on the little things. the little blessings. and i'm remembering the days not so long ago when i would have cut off my arm if it would have given me a better chance to be a mom. and i'm remembering time and again that there is little in my life that is as important as my little boy.

i don't say this for you - i say it for me. because it's easy to get wrapped up in the minutiae and forget about the blessings within it.

i hope the first two weeks of this year have gotten you closer to accomplishing the goals you set out to tackle this year. i hope you're remembering the little blessings in your life :o)

happy sunday!


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