some days

{found via pinterest from the artful parent}

some days are harder than others. some days are better than others. this is simply true. as a parent it somehow feels even more true, but i think that's just due to the mood swings which accompany toddlers and preschoolers.

our days are often like chapter 3 of ecclesiastes: "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: ...a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance..."

except all of these "times" happen back to back in quick succession - sometimes within the space of about 15 minutes.

but at the end of the day some days you take a deep breath and smile at the snuggles and the laughter and the silliness. you smile so big because your big preschooler is learning how to go to the potty without any assistance, and your toddler is learning more words, and you somehow have a sweet nostalgia for the time that's right now. you remember to enjoy the moments as they're happening as he makes up his own games, and better articulates what he's thinking and feeling. you remember to appreciate the toddler snuggles for the few seconds they happen each day, and love how you can see her little mind working as she runs to the stairs to go down to the kitchen at snack-time, or runs to the door when you ask her if she wants to go outside.

those are the days and the moments you want to remember. the ones that will show up in the memories of "the good old days" later.

other days the deep breath at the end of the day sounds more like a sigh, and you shake your head at the food thrown all over the place at dinner because someone didn't want to just sit in her seat when she was all done. you shake your head at the melt down about having dinner served in the wrong bowl. you need some meditation time so you don't lose your ever-loving mind at the up and down the stairs because someone has gotten out of bed to go potty - again. and you need some wine for the injuries they sustained while deliberately disobeying what you asked them to do.

or the morning {that may or may not be happening right now} when you wake up early to spend time with Jesus, and have a chance to write and drink some coffee before the kids wake up, only to have your toddler wake up 1 ½ hours early, and not fall back asleep; and your preschooler wake up 1 hour early, and go through three of his overnight pull-ups just so he has an excuse to come out of his room.

of course it's the one morning of the week when your husband leaves the house early to do a book study with some guys so you can't really get mad at him for trying to become a better husband and father, even if at this moment being a better husband and father feels much less like leaving early than being here to help wrangle the children back to bed.

and it's on these days when i try {some days not as hard as i should} to remember back to the years of trying and failing to have a baby. i think back to the nights when i would have given up my right arm for the chance to put my child back in bed for the fourth time. i think of those moments of heartbreak when i would have cried so many happy tears had i known i would one day wipe away the tears of my kids.

i try to remember how thankful i am for these two little miracles who drive me crazy on a daily basis.

some days require more patience and fortitude than others. and some days are wrapped up with all the good stuff. but most days are peppered with a bit of both.

some days i'm a better mom than others. some days my patience gets worn down and tired in the first hour they're awake. other days i last for two. some days i have to ask for a lot of forgiveness from my kids, and my refrain turns into "i'm sorry i yelled {again}."

these are the days when i end up sitting on the couch in the evening with a bag of m&ms. the days when i have to stop and remind myself once again of that old refrain: this too shall pass.

i love them so much it hurts. and as much as i appreciate some time away one of my favorite things is to come back to them, and see their faces light up.

i know one day their faces will not light up when they see me. they won't really miss me when i'm gone, and they may actually prefer the times when they're apart from me. but for now, for now i will enjoy those moments. i will store them up and ponder them in my heart.

one day my son will not wake up early just because he wants to sit and snuggle with his mama. one day my daughter will not run to me as soon as i walk in the door, and immediately start waving bye-bye to whichever baby-sitter was watching her at the time.

so for now i will try to be grateful. i will try to be grateful for the early wake-ups and the sadness that accompanies my leaving. i will try to be grateful for the moments that show me how much they love me even if those moments make things a little bit harder at the time.

i will be grateful that i get to be their mama. even when it's hard. because it is hard.
but just like anything else, i think the hard is a big part of what makes it great.
{just like tom hanks says in a league of their own. "the hard is what makes it great." and yes, i've referenced that before.}

happy friday, friends!

xoxo