a newly converted early bird. sort of.

{found on pinterest via tumblr}

i woke up grateful this morning. well, after i got my head around the fact that it was my alarm going off and not peter's because peter was already gone, and did not actually hit snooze and subsequently forget to turn it off; then i moved to grateful.

five-thirty and i have gotten back on the same page now that i don't need to stay up late to watch the pens bring the stanley cup back to the 'burgh for another year, and my jump rope/gilmore girls session this morning reminded me of how much i really do enjoy the early morning when i just let myself enjoy it.

this time of year i always think back to taking middle schoolers to camp in the mountains of nc. most camp mornings i'd be up early to get a run in and shower before all the girls woke up.

the quiet of a camp morning almost forces you to take a deep breath. the coolness in the air, the dew on the grass, the glory of creation, the silence. it was beautiful.

despite the fact that i'm still more of a night owl than an early bird, i am learning to be grateful for the opportunities i have in front of me.

last night peter and i went on a date. when we left the house we didn't really know where we were going. for years i hated not having a plan when we went out somewhere, but lately those have been my favorite kind of dates.

we don't do something just because that's the plan we imposed on ourselves at some earlier time, but we find the pace we need for the day we're in at the moment.

lately an incomplete quote keeps jumping in my head. i think it was attributed to thomas jefferson when i heard it, but that's probably wrong, and i can't fully remember it anyway...

it goes something like this:
things don't turn out best for those in the best circumstances, but for those who make the most of the way things turn out.

we say things like this all the time. we hear it everywhere - constantly.
but we don't believe it. we say we believe it, and we try to believe it, but then we decide that we should try a few other things before we chalk it up to attitude.

so i'm trying to live it, and see if i change my mind about believing it. because so much of life is perspective. so much of life is how we approach it.

and it's really easy to complain. if we look for them we can find many things to complain about, especially in the world of social media. {but let's not go there while we're talking about making the most of things.}

i know i've posted a lot about gratitude lately. and it's because i struggle with it. a lot.

i'm a pessimist by trade, and i'm trying to drop the number of times i lose my mind per day by reminding myself how much i have. because i have a lot.

historically speaking how much i have is actually mind-blowing.

comparison is one of my vices. to a degree it comes with being competitive, but it also brings envy with it. it also is the thief of joy.

and thus, i'm trying to do something unnatural to me - i'm trying to be over-the-moon happy for other people. that makes me sound pretty bad, but it's true. too many times it's hard for me to be crazy-happy for others.

if you're one of my people i'll be happy for you. if not, i can be marginally happy for you, but too often i envy instead. i covet. and i've had some wicked cases of schadenfreude {as if schadenfreude isn't wicked in and of itself}.

so i'm converting.

i'm changing to an early bird, and at least to a realist. i may not make it the whole way to optimist, but a realist is a step.

and we have to go one step at a time anyway.



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