five.

two days ago our little monkey turned five.
five. one whole hand.
for as long as we talked about his upcoming birthday {and it was a while} i don't think i was fully prepared for it.

five year olds go to elementary school. five year olds are mostly independent little people. five year olds are at the end of the the toddler/preschooler spectrum. every day he becomes less of a little boy, and more of a little man. and i love it and hate it at the same time.

of course at the beginning of the week i was thinking back over the day he entered this world. lately he's been enjoying stories from when he was a baby, so i was telling him about the day he was born. i remember seeing him for the first time. my heart kept thinking - you're here. you're here. you're finally here. it's you. you're here.

birth day

fifth birthday

dear monkey,

somehow you're already five. i'm not entirely sure how that happened except to say that time marches on. you are getting so big it's crazy. i still can't quite believe it.

i hope you know how much you're loved. i hope you can rest easy inside all of the love lavished upon you by our heavenly father, and by your family and friends. 

i'm thankful for your heart for people. i'm thankful for how much you love being a big brother, and how excited you are to " 'dopt a baby". 

i'm thankful for your curiosity and your love of learning about new things and how they work. i love your penchant for the strange and interesting things of nature, and nature in general. i love how excited you get about the little things, and how much you love to help. i love how silly you are. i love how persistent you are. i love the hilarious, random, and astute comments you make on a daily basis.

i love you to the very core of my being.

i'm beyond thankful that God knit you together, and entrusted us to raise you. we are so proud of you, and the person you are, and the person you're becoming. you are braver than you know.

you and your sister have taught me how to be a mom, but you've had the first go at it. i know that isn't always the most comfortable place for you to be since i'm an imperfect human, but i'm grateful that we get to walk through this life thing and figure it out together.

every night when i come in to check on you before i go to bed i watch your chest move up and down a few times, and i thank God for you. i thank God that he gave us you.

the very first time i held you i knew i was in trouble - because from that moment on i knew i would walk through hell or high water for you. i knew that there was nothing that you could do that would make me stop loving you. you are an answer to prayer, and one of the best things that has happened to your daddy and me. we love you so incredibly big.

philippians tells us to shine like stars, and bring glory to our God.
keep shining, my dear boy.

we love you to pieces.

xoxo,

mom