buy the d*** papaya

 

he's nine now.

he reminded me on his birthday -

he's halfway to eighteen.

this part of me.

my heart beating outside

of my body.

a few weeks ago

he asked for a papaya

at the store.

we had too much fruit

already

and i said no.

but last week i saw

the papayas again.

he was at school

and i didn't want one.

something stopped me 

in my tracks.

"buy the damn papaya,"

it said.

buy the papaya

for the boy who doesn't

ask for much.

the one who is

halfway to eighteen

and will soon be a man.

walking around the store

and buying his own

papayas.

he ate it on a 

saturday.

he insisted on sharing

with his sisters,

with his dad,

and with me.

"have some papaya,"

he said.

so excited about

fruit to share.

and i held my boy 

a little tighter.

and i let him go

a little older

than he was before.

xoxo