voices

the voices in my head

lie to me

all the time.

usually i go along

like they know what

they're talking about,

like they're trustworthy.

why write?

what does it matter?

it'll never amount to

anything.

you'll never amount

to anything.

why would you think

you have anything to say

that hasn't already been said?

people don't care about your

perspective.

none of it matters.

even if you build something,

they won't come.

no one will come.

no

one.

people don't care about you,

not enough for you to 

make any sort of difference

in the world.

who told you that the

God of the universe

is for you?

what b.s.

why would he care

about you?

those are just some of them.

the voices.

others tell me

i should be perfect.

that i should keep

everyone at arm's length.

but i stopped doing that

long, long ago.

instead i take the open road.

the one where i drop all of

my junk

at their feet

right from the start.

i tell them how

messed up i am.

i tell them what i've

walked through.

i want them to walk away early.

before i get attached.

before it matters to me

if they leave.

i want to have it all together.

i don't.

but i want to.

and i want to feel

like i've done something

right

and that

maybe by earning it,

i won't feel like

such a fraud.

xoxo