sunshine & vinegar

she's full of sunshine

and vinegar

speaks her mind

and can turn on a dime.

she's wiry

and fiery

and strong.

built like her mom.

some days i forget that she's still young. 

yet there's so much of me that doesn't want 

to let her

grow up.

but i have to. 

i have to let her.

after all, we have kids

to nurture them as they grow.

and watch them go out on their own.

no, no, 

not yet.

eight is not eighteen.

but still.

still it feels like too many years

have slipped by unwittingly.

she makes me want to be better.

to know more about

what the heck we're doing.

in this "raising up humans"

arena of life.

does anyone ever really know?

i’m convinced most of us

don’t.

she brings life with her

wherever she goes.

unless she's carrying 

a storm cloud of a scowl that

sucks the air out.

but when she lights up

she carries the room right with her.

it's inescapable.

some days i look at her and am sure that she knows herself

now 

better than i did at 16. 

and that is a gift.

how will she change as she grows?

God only knows.

but i hope and pray i like each iteration

as much as i like the one who's here today.

because i look at her

and all i can do is give thanks.

give thanks for the wild, unexpected,

over-the-top-amazing girl who reminds me

daily 

- just by her being here -

just how good God is. 

happy birthday, nugget.

i love you BIG.

xoxo