"there are certain people

you just keep coming back to"

how much do i love the fray? seriously. i thought of the title for this post before i even remembered the song lyrics, and the lyrics go so well with the sentiment of the post it's almost scary. i'm kind of tempted to try to find the music video of it, and post it in here so you can listen to the song whilst you read the post.
but i don't want to split your focus.

so i'll refrain.

have you ever noticed that most people have those certain people for which they would drop anything and everything to help?

there are people -- a few people, with whom i have been blessed. family members. friends i've met along the way. and each one is really a part of my family whether blood or marriage actually dictates it.

in a few weeks i get to see many of these people. i get to stop by for a quick visit with my little brother. my adopted little brother. he has a girl he wants me to meet, and i'm so excited to get to see both of them i can hardly stand it.

immediately after that i get to see my girls from college. who also happen to be some of my favorite people in the world. girls i would, and do, share everything with.

many times in my life i focus too much on the negative. i mask my pessimism with "realism" which is just a euphemistic way of looking at the world negatively. and even though today i'm acutely aware of what i don't have i'm trying to trust that i'll understand one day.

and i'm trying to focus on the good. on the blessings.
on the people who are in my life for keeps. whom i love, and who love me,
for keeps.

i'm reminded of those who have moved on from this life, but not in an altogether sad way -- in a way that allows me to reminisce about what they taught me and how they blessed me.

for instance, lately i've been thinking a lot about my grammy. about who she was, and how she lived. even though her day-to-day life wasn't that exciting she impacted many, many people. there is so much she taught me.

she exemplified unconditional love. she supported her family well. she had hard days, and hard years. she spoke her mind. she was proud of me - of all of us. she always remained young at heart.

one of my favorite memories is when my cousin and i stopped by to visit her around 2 a.m. one morning. we didn't hesitate because we knew she'd still be awake. her sleep schedule was usually from 2-10 a.m. with a cup of coffee at the end of it.

grammy was generous. throughout her life she gave her money away, even though she never had a lot. and while each of her grandchildren were in college she sent a note and a $25 check every month. after college we were expected to get a job, but during my college years that check came like clockwork.

i remember her happiness on my wedding day, partially because she was truly so happy for us, and partially because, i am the youngest, and was the last of her grandchildren to get married. she had kids late, and was 89 years old at my wedding. she told us many times in her remaining two and a half years how happy she was that she got to see each one of us married off.

i got to spend the last lucid week of grammy's life with her. and in the midst of her staying in her pajamas all day, drinking coffee together, lots of sleeping, and locking the dog in the laundry room so grammy wouldn't feed her candy [much to the dismay of both of them], grammy told me stories. she told me about how she met my grandfather. she told me about working at a car dealership, and at the courthouse. she also told me she loved me, and she was so glad i could come.

while i, being the only out-of-state grandchild, didn't get to see her at the end, i did get to see her as herself.

her spirit [and her height] are forever a part of me.

"some people come into our lives 
and quickly go.
some stay for a while
and leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, 
ever the same."
-source unknown

who are your people?


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