just start

{found via pinterest}

i've been sitting here for a few minutes trying to decide what to write about. because i'm in the mood to write, but not about anything in particular. i wanted a title - a jumping off point. i needed to start somewhere. so i decided to just begin, and see where i end up.

i'm becoming a fan of the early mornings. the getting out of bed part still sucks. this morning i even crawled back into bed for a minute because it beckoned me with its comfort and clean sheets. but then i remembered wednesday morning, and i forced myself out.

wednesday i crawled back in for "a minute" and woke up after 35 of those minutes, though i swear i only blinked.

thankfully i planned to run later than i had been, otherwise peter would not have been happy with me.

i'm a few weeks into my marathon training now. my 11 miler felt long this week until i paused and realized how short of a distance it actually is compared with the marathon itself. baby steps. i haven't done that kind of distance much at all since my last marathon go-round.

i digress. as much as i used to hate mornings - and in some ways i'd still much rather utilize my night owl tendencies - i do appreciate checking off some boxes before the sun is up and the day really begins. it makes it seem like i'm starting farther ahead. it gives me time that is actually quiet and {mostly} uninterrupted. and even if i get caught up in something adele still cries for me to come get her at roughly the same time every morning.

but this way i finally get to enjoy our office space. the office is one of my favorite spaces in our house, but with two young kids i rarely get to enjoy it during the bulk of my day. this morning time allows me to enjoy some peace and quiet and reflection in my favorite space. alongside a cup of coffee, some good tunes, and one of my favorite candles.

it's a good way to start the day.

most of the time i actually look forward to it, which i can't really say about most mornings i've experienced.

too often in my life i try to sit back and have everything planned out. and planning is important much of the time. but sometimes you just have to go. just start. just bite the bullet. that's what these mornings have made me do.

i don't have time to plan and plan and plan. the night before i set the coffee to brew at 5:27, and i wake up, pour my coffee, and get started. i don't have time to wait before i jump in. it's not going to be perfect, because things rarely are.

and that's one thing {among many} that kids have taught me. life will not be perfect. it wasn't before either, but somehow i expected it to be much closer to perfect then. much more often now i recognize that i am not in control of a whole lot. before i could trick myself into thinking i had some semblance of control because i didn't have two tiny humans with me all day every day reminding me that i'm not.

i can guide them and schedule them to the hilt, and some days, it just doesn't matter.

for instance - yesterday keane decided not to take a nap. he was pretty tired, but he just didn't take one. it doesn't matter that it was actually a little bit later than normal, and he had gotten far too little sleep the night before. nope. he lay in his bed for close to two hours without falling asleep.

hence, i accomplished approximately nothing yesterday afternoon. i was too busy running up and down the stairs trying everything i could think of to help him fall asleep.

i remember being pregnant with keane and thinking about all of the things i would never do as a parent. there are still a few that we have actually never done. but i'm not sure if that is simply because we still have young kids and haven't made it to the rest of those "i will never"s.

everyone is an expert when they don't have to do something every day.

much of life is hard. at the end of the day what we need for a good life - those things are very simple. but we make it very complicated.

at the end of the day we can all drill down to what's really important, and "having stuff" doesn't usually make the cut. but far too often i get wrapped up in what i have and what i don't have. i get caught up in my first world problems, and somehow think the world owes me more than i've got.

it doesn't. nor does God.

and the older i get - yes, my 31 years make me simply ancient - the more i recognize that life really is very simple. the older i get the more i think i'd be okay with living in a tiny house one day, and enjoying the simple things. because most of the time i think we all kind of want to get back to the simple things. we want beautiful, lovely, simple things, but simple nonetheless.

don't overcomplicate it. just start.
and have a simply lovely day.



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