{over}analyzer

{found via pinterest from curiano}

i'm an analyzer. an over-analyzer to be more precise.

there was something that happened this past week that i handled poorly, and i haven't been able to fully let go of it. but there's nothing i can do about it now. it wasn't even that big of a deal at the end of the day, but i should've done better and i hate that i didn't.

the only thing i can do about it is let go and move on, and do better if a similar situation comes up again.

i just hate when i muck it up. especially when i can't go back and fix it. because those are the situations i dwell on. it doesn't matter that i know dwelling on them doesn't actually fix anything or help anything or do any good whatsoever. i've prayed about it and thought through it from every angle possible. and now i need to let go.

that's what i'm praying for this morning. the ability to let go. and trusting that grace abounds.

it has me thinking back to the personality study i did in the fall. i'm reminded that to every strength there is a weakness. there are some great things that come with each different personality, and there are some pitfalls.

about half of my personality is the analyzer side. and man am i feeling the weaknesses associated with it right now.

but i can't live in light of the weaknesses. i go to dark places when i focus on the weaknesses, and let them take over. there's part of me that thinks - i just need to trust that "when i am weak then i am strong." but this isn't really the context of that verse. in reality i need to trust that God is still in control even when i mess up and can't do anything about it.

i need to trust that i have been forgiven, and live in light of his grace instead of in light of my mistakes.

both are abundant. but his grace is more abundant.
and {thankfully} i'm not going to use it up.

xoxo