you are a great mom.

i know i've written a lot about motherhood lately. this is mostly because i've been having a lot of rough mom-days, and i feel like i'm mucking it all up.

yesterday keane reminded me that i need to take deep breaths when i get frustrated.
yes, really.
he's very astute.

i've yelled too much.
i've gone from too empathetic to not empathetic enough.

i love them with every single ounce of my being. but
some days.

on mother's day my husband left me a note on our "i love you because _________ " board in our room. he filled the blank with "you are a great mom."

you are a great mom.
i don't feel like a great mom.

he tells me that i'm a great mom partially because i don't feel like it. because that means i'm trying.
crying when i mess up means i care.
getting up every day and trying again shows them how much i love them.
saying i'm sorry 800 times a day because i need forgiveness all the time shows them that i'm not giving up.

this is what he tells me.

and i am trying to believe it.

i recently had another mom come up to me, and tell me that this little blog makes her feel like she's not crazy.

that's one of the best compliments i could ever possibly get. because we all need to know we're not alone. we all need to know that someone else understands the depth of the crazy we experience on a daily basis.

this life is exhausting, but so very #firstworldproblems -esque all at the same time. and i need to remember that.

i need to remember that when i walk into a store with a double stroller that barely fits through the door, and i see the look of "ugh, you have to be kidding me" barely masked behind a stale smile on the face of the employees.

i need to remember that when walking 10 feet requires stopping 4 or 5 times to pick up socks, shoes, and a zebra blanket that have been tossed one by one from the stroller.

i need to remember that when i reach my breaking point, and i just need a break.

i need to remember that in the midst of the nightly temper tantrums over trying to get them to eat a good dinner, when all she wants is chips and crackers.

i need to remember that i live an exceedingly pampered life even when those little faces are filled with tears instead of smiles as they look up at me.

it is hard. it is. i {of all people} will not say that the good things make it not so hard. the good things make the hard worth it, but they don't suddenly make it not hard anymore.

i need to remember that it really is worth it in the midst of the hard.
and simultaneously figure out a way to get my son to actually sleep during naptime and not destroy his room.

one can hope...

anyway, for all of you mamas out there. if you are trying, then you are a great mom. if your kids know you love them, then you are a great mom.

i'll say a prayer for an extra dose of grace and wisdom for all of us. because we're all on this crazy rollercoaster ride together.



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