where to?

this question has haunted me a bit for the past few weeks. where to? what next? what's the plan? all of these questions swirl around in my brain, suffocating me as the swell of the answer rises up -- I DON'T KNOW!!

peter and i have had some very good, and honest conversations over the past couple of days. and while i do feel a welcome peace in a couple aspects of my life, there are a few too many others perpetuating angst and unrest.

part of me (a rather large part in fact) yearns for a trip to get away -- a "just the two of us" trip, something which we haven't had since february. so many things hang over my head right now, and i just want to get back to happy - at least for a little bit.

i feel a bit lost in my own skin, lost in my own life right now, and i'm not even a little bit sure how to fix it. i know everything is never perfect. even on the most perfect day everything isn't perfect. 

i get little pockets of goodness, but for whatever reason i can't seem to hang on to them. i'm debating about starting our Christmas shopping ultra-early this year (as in NOW) so that 1. i'm not a crazed "i hate Christmas" kind of person once it's december 19th and everyone is insane, and there are too many things on the calendar, and i still don't know what to get for those few elusive people. and 2. presents have a way of lifting my spirits. i'm a present person. i enjoy getting and giving presents so much, and i think if i'm focusing on finding the perfect gift(s) for others that may just lift my spirit out of the doldrums. 

some of my ideas for "other people" may just happen to be things that i'd enjoy as well. maybe... *wink*

tiny toms! boy version for the sweetest little boy!
{via toms.com}

and pink glittery version for my favorite little girl!
{via toms.com}

the best cereal bowls EVER
{via anthropologie.com}

for lovers of coffee, tea, or cider
{via anthropologie.com}

pumpkin gloves for any woman who wants
toasty-warm fingers this wintertime!
{via anthropologie.com}

the sweetest little scarf!
{via anthropologie.com}

for any foodie!
{via anthropologie.com}

for a certain prego in my life
{via gap.com}

kindle for the hubby
{via amazon.com}

super fun speed scrabble-esque game
{via target.com}

the cutest little skirt/legging combo for a certain niece!
{via target.com}

ladies in waiting plates, perfect for any number of sisters-in-law!
{via anthropologie.com}

a book about how certain writers stayed connected
(this one might be just for me!)
{via anthropologie.com}

deliciousness for anyone who likes a happy-smelling home
{via anthropologie.com}

a hilarious game
{via target.com}

a little bowling set for some fun kiddos
{via target.com}

a "family" game for one of my favorite families
{via target.com}

a 5 in 1 easel for my niece
{via target.com}

a hoodie for a favorite team
{via steelers.com}

or maybe the baby version for a certain nephew!
{via target.com}

have you run across any perfect gifts yet?

i hope no matter where you are

that your spirit is high

and your heart is grateful

xo