letting it all out

i realized this morning as i was peeking through my favorite blogs that i rarely log onto my blog to just write. every once in a while the mood will strike me, but far too often i see this venue as a place to share pieces of our world. and it is that. but often there are so many things that i think of when i'm in the midst of a post that i don't actually put on here.

so, here's your fair warning: if you are looking for something short and concise, this post is not it. stop reading now. you'll just get frustrated with the length and randomness.

as i read other blogs, and other pieces of people's lives it often makes me want to change my life circumstances. more than once i've wanted to move to idaho, or seattle, or greenville, or up to the mountains where there is actually snow this time of year. more than once it has made me think that i should be more grateful for where i am and what i have.

sometimes my self-inflicted guilt trip works, and sometimes it doesn't.

lately there have just been so many frustrations. for instance: tomorrow morning around 8 a.m. i will be making a trek up to ohio, and a measly 32 hours later i will arrive back at my house. i'm not exactly happy about this. my current plan is to bring season 1 of glee and a few christmas movies and watch nothing but a two dimensional screen for the entire trip. eight hours seems so much shorter when you think of it as a few episodes of glee and a movie or two. seriously.

anyway, the plus in it is that i may actually get to see some snow [fingers crossed...]. besides the hours and hours in a car the negative is that i was so desperately hoping to decorate our house for christmas this weekend.

despite the music flowing from my speakers, and the smells drifting from the lit candles around my house, and the calendar itself, nothing around me much feels like christmas.

i've done a lot of shopping. i bought the wrapping paper, ribbons, tags, cards, and mostly everything else i could possibly need [including a nifty wrapping paper cutter] and yet the christmas spirit has not embodied me yet. it's sunny and bright outside, and nothing much really feels like christmas. the stores have looked and sounded the same since halloween so they don't lend themselves to christmas cheer. the weather, while finally much cooler, does not include any gorgeous white snowflakes falling from the sky, and very few people have their houses lit up at night.

everything feels far too much like business as usual for christmas to be as close as it is.

i have a few too many things to do today, but what i'd really like to do if i could, is to curl up with the following - one right after the other:

{via amazon.com}

{via amazon.com}

{via amazon.com}

{via amazon.com}

{via amazon.com}

i would then add a few christmas episodes from friends and the office, some present wrapping, magically have my house cleaned by someone other than me with a snap of my fingers, a mug of mint hot chocolate in my hand, and snow sweetly falling from the heavens.

[do you think i have a romanticized view of christmas??]

on days like this having a lazy saturday on a thursday appeals to me oh-so-much. i hold out my hands, and try to hold off the insanity i know is coming. peter tends to use time like this practically. he asks why we wouldn't use this time to take away from some of the impending craziness. while i think he has a valid point, personally i know that the insanity will catch up with me soon enough, regardless of what happens today, so i might as well take some leisure today, and push the craziness off to a different day. 

there are so many other things i should be doing right now instead of rambling along on my blog, but most of them would not be nearly as fun. 

if i pretend to throw up can i play hooky today?