growth hurts

have you ever noticed that? growth HURTS. kids hurt when they're teething because their teeth are growing. if their bones grow too fast then they get growing pains because their muscles, ligaments, and tendons can't keep up.

strength hurts. in order to get stronger you literally have to exhaust your muscles and make them weaker so they're stronger when they repair themselves. it's crazy how we humans work.

i have to remind myself of these things because i've been hurting a lot lately. big changes are coming, and i'm being forced to grow. some of the changes are welcome, other parts, not-so-much.

i'm stepping down from my job at the end of this month. because it's time to move on. because i know i'm not called to it anymore. i'm at peace with the decision, but that doesn't make it easy. i don't know for sure what comes next. i don't know where i'm going, or what to move on to.

everything seems to be ending all at once.

we had our final soccer game last night. suffice it to say it is not how i would have wanted to go out. as kelly and i talked after the game was over and all the girls had gone home i realized that the same theme runs through our soccer season as that which is running through the rest of my life. we're trying to change things. we're not okay with the culture that has been set up in and among this team. we have higher expectations than what they have had placed on them in the past. we're trying to stretch them, grow them. adjust their expectations.

but that doesn't happen overnight, or even in a month, or in one entire season. change takes time. growth takes time. and it's painful. changing any kind of routine or habit is always a bit painful, even if it's for the better. the law of inertia gets you every time. [yes, mr. perry, i still remember the law of inertia 9 years after honors physics...]

and i'm learning the aforementioned lesson even more now than i [possibly] ever have before. or at least in many different ways than i ever have before.

to be honest, i'm kind of getting sick of the lemons. i keep running out of sugar trying to make lemonade. in some ways i wish it was limes that life was handing me. if it were limes than i could just cut 'em into wedges and drink some tequila instead of all that work to make lemonade....
or, according to a cheeky seller on etsy - if life gives you lemons, make a gin & tonic.
come to think of it, it has been far too long since i've had a good g&t.

i digress.

life is changing. there's so much change and so much growth it's a wonder i haven't reached 5'1 yet.

in any case i recently bought myself a little "end of the season, end of my job" gift. it's pretty apropos, if i do say so myself. i had been admiring it on etsy for months, and with everything else going on, i couldn't pass it up any longer.

{both pics via silver sparrow designs' etsy shop}

yes, the ring itself has "growth hurts" stamped into the silver on the back of the ring. and lately, that's what i've been trying to remind myself. 

it hurts because it's supposed to hurt. 
it hurts because without the hurt, there is no growth.
stagnant has been an option for far too long.

both sweat and tears are salty,
but render different results.
one will get you sympathy
the other will get you change.
-jesse jackson


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