always in process

i had lunch with a friend today. she has a 10 month old little boy, and amidst talking about other things going on in our lives, we chatted for a bit about motherhood, and changes, and balance, and all of the things that i've been thinking and wondering about more and more over the past couple of weeks.

and as we talked i realized that just like everything else in life, it's going to be an ongoing process. i won't wake up one day able to check "being a good mom" off of my list, nor will i ever be able to say "yes, my life balance is perfect, i am exactly where i want to be in every single area, and i have nothing left to work on."

life is always a process.
even if one chapter ends, another one begins.

things change, but as long as i'm living life will be a process.

i have goals that i will hopefully check off of my list, but when i do check those off, i'll move on to something else.

we're constantly changing and growing and adapting and that is probably the only thing that won't change. in fact, when we introduce a child into it, i think all the change will probably just become even more pronounced. [feel free to correct me if i'm wrong]

in a way it's a relief. it's a relief to really realize, in a different way than ever before, that i'm never going to have it all figured out. and that's okay, because no one does. and if i ever think i have it all figured out, that's probably when i'll make the most mistakes. that's probably when i'll become stagnant, and worse than i was before.

because it's an ongoing process.
which means we have to keep going on...

another process i've been thinking a lot about over the past couple weeks is my business. i'm in the process of switching over to etsy [for multiple reasons] and i don't know if it'll change things, or if it will be successful there, but in peter's words - it's time to put up or shut up.

so i'm putting up.

and we'll see what happens after a few months. because at that point i'll either have an ongoing business, or an ongoing hobby.

i don't know what will happen, but i know i'm not quite ready to literally close up shop and call it quits.

things seem to happen all at once in my life. i don't know why exactly, but it has happened time and time again.

so we'll see what happens. we'll see what changes happen. because i know they're coming. and i know some of them will be tough.

but at the end of the day, God is in control

and it's all going to be okay.


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