full steam ahead

looking at our calendar this morning i realized that this past weekend was the last [and only] open weekend for the month of june. and we spent the vast majority of it talking about the future. we're trying to make a bunch of big decisions about our priorities, basically. and part of that is whether or not we'll stay in the house we're in now, or move. it's dependent on so many different things, and in many ways our decision is based more on what our priorities are as opposed to what our necessities are.

personally i've always been more detail-oriented than big-picture oriented. i can step back and look at the big picture, but my default setting is all in the details. and i also tend to be one of those people who focuses on something until it's complete, and then i move to the next thing on the list. [unless it's something i really don't want to do. then i just move it from list to list, and forever find other things that i deem "more important", cleaning may or may not be one of these perpetually listed things...] so lately this in between stage of discussion, but not yet time to make a decision, is killing me. i want to move past the big picture, and on to the details, and yet i don't have a big picture frame to fit the details into right now.

and of course, every time i start getting into the nitty gritty of any of our options [again, default setting], peter reminds me that we need to not get attached to any one option until we have all of the information we need to make a decision about which direction to go. frankly, constantly reminding myself to switch out of default mode is kind of tiring exhausting. but at the same time, i try to remember to be grateful that we have options.

anyway, in the next couple of weeks we'll have quite a few visitors, celebrate peter's first father's day, celebrate adam & becca's wedding [and ben & laura's from afar!], possibly take a short weekend trip, buy our tickets for seattle to visit jess & kev, fix up a few things around the house, harvest much of our garden, and make a decision about moving or staying as that will determine how we move forward in other areas.

we'll also have to do some further baby-proofing since keane is becoming more and more mobile. he's not crawling yet, but his rolling is getting faster and faster, and he's ever more determined to find a way to get where he wants to go.

we'll also take little man to the pool, and see how he likes the outdoor version of the "giant bathtub."

here are a few pictures from his excursion into the pool at the hotel:

hanging out with papa

and nana teaching keane how to swim - baby version :o)

it feels like there's so much going on - aren't all summers that way?

i try to take some time while keane is sleeping to relax and evaluate a little bit. time to write, and drink my coffee, and catch up on news and blogs, and you know, shower and get dressed for the day, but i also tend to admonish myself for taking that time. because there is always SO MUCH to do.

today for instance, i opted for sleep instead of getting a workout in before peter left for work, and now i'm so frustrated with myself for not getting up and getting it in because i won't have time to do so later in the day.

i'm learning more and more that so much of life is about discipline and priorities. i need to get better at both, while still figuring out how to be content with the gifts i have now. it's not about striving for the sake of ultimate fulfillment, but working toward something for the sake of betterment. and for the ability to best utilize the gifts i already have.

it's interesting to me that having keane has really brought out my appreciation of the present. of the right now. because it all goes by so fast. he's growing so much, so quickly, and he's not slowing down any time soon. so it makes me appreciate what is going on right now because i have to live in the present in order to value the strides keane has made, and continues to make on a daily basis.

i'm trying to incorporate that way of thinking into other areas too.
enjoy this moment. each moment.

with gratitude.


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