writer's block

as much as i've wanted to write lately the words have simply eluded me. in fact the dashboard for my blog has been up on my computer for 3 days, i just haven't come close to coaxing any words out. i'm not sure why exactly. i guess it's just because there's nothing new and exciting going on in our lives. it has been a week of same old, same old. even the things we're struggling with are the things we've been struggling with.

i'm itching to take a trip -- a real one, not the kind i'll be taking this weekend -- just to really get away. california is calling my name. maybe with a stop in indy. and south bend. and chicago. and denver. and portland. and seattle.

it's not like i'm asking for a lot or anything...

sometimes, when weeks and months go on like this, i just want to be someone else. someone who has fantastic adventures, and explores the world.

i know balance is one of the toughest things to achieve in life. when things get boring i want adventure, and when we've had a lot of excitement i want to get home and simply sit and drink coffee and read. and write.


i crave balance, but too often i fail to appreciate where i am because i'm constantly looking to the next thing.

i strive. and as i strive contentedness passes me by.

i want to be content with what i have. to live in the moment. and yet, i always think i would be completely content if i had or did just one more thing. kind of ironic.

i'm reminded of something peter prayed for us a few years ago, right after thanksgiving, as we prepared for Christmas. [admittedly, i don't remember it verbatim, but nonetheless...]

LORD help us not to lose sight of thanksgiving
in the midst of Christmas.

i know we're not anywhere near thanksgiving, or Christmas, but the sentiment still fits. our lives are crazy. how often do we stop to give thanks? not just an obligatory, rushed pre-dinner prayer, but a real, truly felt, THANK YOU? a true gratefulness for everything we've been given.

[and we've been given a lot.]

if i'm honest, living in america makes it difficult to simply be thankful for what i've been blessed with, and not constantly want more. BUT it's not the culture's fault. i still have to take responsibility for my selfish, spoiled, needy life.

so, i'm going to be thankful.

my morning cup of coffee
a job
a flexible schedule
plenty of books to read
a mess in my closet
(due to an abundance of clothes, etc.)
my best friend -
who also happens to be my husband
a house to live in
and decorate
the means to do the above
taking joy in exercise
prayer -
and knowing that there IS someone who hears me
background music
eyes to see
ears to hear

in the words of bing crosby:
"if you're worried and you can't sleep,
count your blessings instead of sheep."


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