life is messy. things are so rarely cut and dry, or black and white. usually it's just a whole lot of grey mess. and as much as we try to paint a pretty picture of our lives to others, they just aren't. life is messy.

in those uncommon moments when life truly feels like it makes sense, i like to savor it -- sit down and bask in it. those moments are fleeting. they come and go so quickly it's hard to remember at times that they happen at all.

usually my house is a mess. there are at least a dozen things that need to be cleaned or adjusted, and if all of those things are miraculously completed, i soon discover there are at least a few things i missed. and yet, as much as i want everything to be in place, i don't have any qualms about sitting down and relaxing a bit when i *should* be doing something else. [i pretty much always feel like i should be doing something else...]

frankly, i'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing, but it's true nonetheless.

this is a jackson pollock painting. pollock was the first american abstract painter to really be taken seriously. and if i remember correctly, his artwork is some of the most, if not the most expensive to purchase worldwide.

pollock's paintings are so very interesting to me because they're chaos, but they're interesting, fantastic works of art. he makes the chaos beautiful.

i keep trying to remind myself that chaos is inherent to life. will my life turn into scribbles on a page with no beauty in them, or will i create purposeful chaos? chaos that turns into something amazing in the end?

what will you create with your life?
sometimes i think about this too much. i get so caught up on what i WILL do, and HOW it will all happen, that i just sit and philosophize. i need to step out and actually do something. bite the bullet. stick my neck out there. ready or not.

sometimes life sucks.
but at the end of the day,
life is for the living.
it's time to live.


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