a rant on trust

i must preface this post by informing you that this is indeed a rant. i have had much on my mind as of late, and while i cannot find words for everything - nor is this the medium for everything - i decided to share these thoughts with you as a way of expressing a piece of where i am at right now.

herein begins my ranting:

trust is a tricky thing. we are often careful with our trust -- especially in a culture where people often "screw you over" for their own benefit. we are such an individualistic society that we are often wary of other people. no matter where we go, or what we do, we wear a mask.

we paint on a pretty face, or a happy face, and we act like we have it all together. sometimes this is necessary. sometimes it is vital to what you are required to do, and sometimes it just makes good sense to refrain from playing all your cards at once.

other times it is nothing but a nuisance. far too often we get mad because others do not seek us out to get to know us, and yet how often do we actually seek out others? how often are we so introspective that we fail to see anything that is going on around us, all the while pointing out ways in which others have let us down?

we are all so afraid of living in a real, authentic community because we are all so afraid of being laughed at, abandoned, and betrayed. but we also genuinely want to live in real community, and if you never try - if i never try - we will never come to know true community.

life is a matter of trust.

every single day we trust everyone around us, even while we believe we do not trust anyone. yet we place our very lives in others' hands day in, and day out.

i have no idea if the person i pull out in front of or behind on the street is drunk, or high, or under some other kind of influence. i have no idea if the people around me really are who they say they are, or if someone i thought i knew is just playing a part, and will soon be revealed as something else entirely. everything has the potential to be the x factor that changes everything.

i could keep going with this train of thought, but the point is this: no matter how much we would like to believe that our lives are in our own hands, and i am in control of my own life, and my own destiny - it is simply not true.

there are some things we can control, there are certain aspects of your life that you decide, but at the end of the day most things are simply out of our hands. this is where trust gets really tricky...

because you can either trust in yourself, and the limited amount of things you can control, or you can trust in something other than yourself.

trusting wholly in other people usually doesn't work out too well since we often put unrealistic expectations on other people - we forget that they are human people, and we cannot expect perfection.

and many people have a difficult time trusting God. truly though, i believe we often put unrealistic expectations on God as well. we expect our prayers to work like a vending machine. we put the money in, and we get whatever we select.

when it does not work out this way we feel as though God betrayed us. in reality though, we can only blame ourselves for having an incorrect view of who he is.

i would be lying if i told you that i never fit the above description. trusting God can be frustrating because trusting him means trusting that he knows what is best. always.

even when things do not work out at all how you had hoped.

i have found that sometimes i am so stubborn that God brings me to the end of myself so that i can again realize he is in control.

and he is worthy of my trust.

too often i forget that he is the perfect father, and a perfect parent never lets his/her child do whatever he/she wants because the parent sees and understands more than the child.

parents hurt when their children hurt, even if the hurt is necessary. a good parent does not let his/her child's broken arm heal without being set [if at all possible] because that will make it worse in the long run.

i do not imagine that the child's agonizing cries are comforting to the parent, but that pain is necessary so that the child may heal properly.

in the same way i believe God hurts when we hurt.

at the end of the day i trust in God because i have found nothing else, and no one else, to be as trust-worthy.

herein ends my rant.


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