broken

the past few days i've felt oh-so-broken. everything is messy, and rather messed up. it's like i only have a few hours of fight in me everyday - and i need coffee to work up to it. this week has destroyed me momentarily. i haven't reacted how i've wanted to - although in this case i think that's a good thing. BUT it takes a lot of energy to hold yourself back. to restrain yourself, and relinquish control.

i feel like i'm just done for a bit. donezo. done. done. done.

today, this week, has been a pittsburgh week. a week where i just want to go home. to get away from the crap. to be somewhere else. to be somewhere that reestablishes my faith that good things can happen, and hope does exist. where hope has reason to exist. somewhere like my brother's house.

all i want to do is throw an overnight bag in the car and get away. i want to run away from it all for a day or two, and find a way to trust again. trust that it will somehow be okay.

because right now

my faith is broken