i got nothin

do you ever just want to throw your hands up and yell "i got nothin!"? i've been feeling that way for a while now. frustrated. annoyed. stuck on the outside of whatever it is God's doing. or at least i hope he has a plan. it's times like these when i question that. a lot.

i have nothing to say. nowhere else to turn. nothin. nothin. nothing. period.

it's also times like these when people who know anything about what is going on in my world try to say comforting things, and generally end up making me feel far worse.

truth is, if you haven't been through something you don't understand. period.

tonight i had wine with my mac & cheese dinner because we needed to talk about a few big things, and therefore, i needed a little liquid courage by way of my friend "vihno verde".

there is so much in my life that doesn't make sense. there are so many big things seemingly "coming down the pike" and yet i'm/we're largely at a standstill. that's the thing that drives me absolutely insane. how can both "a" and "b" be true?

this is one of those nights when i can't hold it in any longer. where so much has happened on the inside, and i've been holding it all in - i can't anymore. none of it makes sense to me. none of it.

with everything else that has happened in my life and my world i never, and i mean NEVER imagined i'd be sitting where i am, in this situation right now.

and done.
sorry about that,
i do feel a bit
better now, though.


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