adoption update: back to square one

well. hmm. quite a lot has happened since my last post. some of it i can tell you about, and some of it i can't.

suffice it to say this weekend was extremely rough. so rough, in fact, that while it was not the worst week of my life, it would probably make the top 5.

so. here's what i can tell you. [this part makes up about 1/3 of the rough patch...]

yesterday, as i was looking through the packet the adoption agency sent to us, i reviewed a bunch of the information and was preparing to complete the already-started application and put it in the mail.

and then, as i reviewed some of the information something stood out to me that we had apparently somehow missed before.

but for this we have to back up and fill you in on something...

if you've been reading long you know that peter and i decided to primarily look into adopting from ethiopia. however, due to the possible changes to the adoption laws, and the shutting down of some orphanages, and a few other things, adopting from ethiopia has recently become a much longer, and more uncertain process. in short, the estimated wait time for ethiopia is currently at 3+ years.

so, we were looking at starting the process in two countries simultaneously - which was possible to do with the agency we chose. and as we looked over the information on their website we decided that we would probably start the ethiopia program, and the taiwan program.

the agency works with many countries, but there were a couple we weren't interested in, a bunch whose wait times were very very long, and a couple that we didn't qualify for due to our age.

we chose taiwan because the average wait times were less than any of the other countries, there didn't seem to be as much changing within their adoption program, and it was possible to get an infant.

ok. all caught up.

so what had we missed? well apparently, both parents have to be 30 in order to adopt from taiwan too. and any other country we could adopt an infant from had a wait time similar to that of ethiopia.

three years is a heck of a long time to wait when you've already waited three years. it's a heck of a long time to wait, period. especially since the process of having a child is supposed to take about 9 months.

anyway, we basically decided that if we want to have any hope of having a child before we're both 30 -- a tough pill to swallow since we were originally hoping to be done having kids by the time we were both 30 -- we don't have much choice but to look into domestic adoption.

and since our agency works exclusively with children in foster care in the US, which makes it almost impossible to get an infant, we have to start over from square one.

it's times like this when i wonder if the whole "some way, somehow" thing is actually true. the past couple of days have been awash with pain and tears and frustration. which, i can tell you, is not a fun way to spend a weekend.

i hope you had a 
better weekend
than i did!


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